C Minus

The other day, in what I can only assume was a narcotic drug induced haze, my adoring husband rated my skills at taking care of our family without his help at a measly ‘C minus.’ He gave me an ‘A’ for my loving demeanor, but I mean, come on–who really cares about a loving demeanor after that ‘C minus.’ It made me start to regret hauling all those meals upstairs to him when he couldn’t move.

The truth is, I did totally suck at doing it all while John lay in bed recovering from surgery. I spent a great deal of last week sitting in bed with him, alternately working on client projects and watching tv or taking naps. Since I was in charge of ‘helping’ him by bringing food or water or whatever, naturally I didn’t want to leave him alone. And also our bed is really comfortable. And we have cable now, so.

When I did have to get out of bed, it was merely to do annoying things like make dinner, clean up the dishes, buy groceries, take care of the kids, mow the lawn, sweep the floor, load the dishwasher, volunteer at the school…..oh wait, I didn’t mean to bore you, but it is a rather long list, isn’t it? (isn’t it? yes, of course it is, you agree.) But I didn’t resent doing any of it. I swear. I would go to the moon and back for John and he knows that. (Actually, I went to two different pharmacies in 5:00 traffic for him and I think that is close enough to the moon for now).

However, I did notice during my week of solo flying that I am apparently the weakest link in our partnership. Who knew? Everyone? Ok then.

For example, I discovered that it is not as much fun to make the kids’ breakfast and pack their lunches every morning as it is to sit around and drink tea and bitch about being tired. It’s also not as much fun to make dinner alone; it’s actually really hard because you turn around to get that one kid the glass of milk and things burn! And of course it’s no fun to clean up the dishes after dinner instead of running straight back to my laptop to work on blog posts and, uh, other things I like to write. It’s also not fun to get my beer all ready on my bedside table and then settle down with my trusty laptop (again, I know. we’re in a very committed relationship), only to be roused by a kid needing her hair dried after a shower.

So yeah, maybe I was a little busy and didn’t notice for AN ENTIRE WEEK that the kids’ bathtub was clogged up and filled with 2 inches of dirty bath water. They were taking showers downstairs, but I mean why would that tip me off? Henry only mentioned it 3 or 4 times, but again, how was I supposed to know I needed to actually walk in the bathroom and look? And yeah, maybe when John finally made it out of bed and walked in the laundry room the cat’s litter box had not been changed in a week, but seriously–that’s supposed to be Thomas’ job! And I guess I would have done it if I had noticed, but I hadn’t really been in the laundry room in several days, mainly because there was a lot of laundry blocking my way. None of that was really anything compared to the ‘morning after frat party’ John discovered when he finally made it downstairs.

So yeah, I know I probably deserve a C minus for the way I kept the house while John was incapacitated. But I only brought home fast food twice (both times for lunch) and I worked (as in, for clients) all but two days. And anyway, John totally curved my grade and made it higher after I mowed the lawn with the old-fashioned blade cutting lawn mower. Also, I feel like I should get extra credit for being a ROCK SOLID stay at home mom for nine years. I mean, I kept this shit together and I was really good at it. I’ve just fallen a little out of practice.

Anyway, now that John’s up again, it’s basically like school’s out for summer (literally and figuratively). Now every time I hear the washing machine ding I give a little fist pump. Then I go back to working on my loving demeanor.

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