I hesitated to use that as the title of this post, for one because I hated to think of the disappointment my friend Kelley would feel when she realized I’m not talking about Zach, Slater, Jessi and the gang. (I’m kidding, but who doesn’t love a good episode of SBTB?)
So lately I’ve been preoccupied by the question of where my darling firstborn child will attend middle school. I know–GASP–Middle School. Just typing it practically gives me a stroke.
And I know it’s early to be thinking about it–he’s only in 4th grade now–but actually, these schools want to know if you’re in or out by sometime next Fall. So, technically, considering how torn I am about this decision, it’s not too early for me to start freaking out.
True to form, I’ve taken something that has nothing to do with this week’s actual problems, and made it THE problem of the week. Poor John. Really. I mean, we got that whole “I’m having a heart attack” thing squared away and I’ve moved on to “my baby is going to be murdered in a middle school bathroom” drama. I promise I’m not as hard to live with as it may sound.
Before you read on, I’m going to need you to excuse me in advance for being a huge snob. I know I talk big about being so open minded, but deep down I’m just as scared of the general public as most people. (Have you been to Walmart lately? Case closed).
In terms of trusting my precious firstborn to an educational institution after 5th grade, here are my choices.
Winburn: Although not in our district, this is the middle school that houses the Gifted & Talented program Thomas is in currently, and the school that all his current peers will likely attend. The pros are obvious: he gets to continue working at the higher level offered by the program and he gets to stay (mostly) with his current classmates. The cons–well, have you ever watched the local news? Just the other day there was a shooting in the parking lot across the street from the school. Um, yeah. And let’s not even get into all the things that go on in any given middle school. Thomas would have to swear to me that he would never use the bathroom at school and carry mace at all times. What? Am I over-reacting? I warned you about being a snob.
Leestown: The school we are districted to attend. This isn’t really an option because if I’m going to let him attend a public middle school, he’s obviously going to stay in his program. Besides, one of the janitors shot the other janitor last year–at the school. Need I say more?
Christ the King: Okay, so this was looking like my saving grace only a few days ago, (as a graduate, I like to think of it as a safe, wonderful, option) but then I talked to someone this morning about the curriculum and I’m very disappointed. Apparently for about $5000 a year, my son can repeat the curriculum he’s learning now, two years from now. Blah.
Homeschooling: “What the what?“–is what I imagine you are saying right now. I know, I know, I’ve traditionally not been a proponent of homeschooling. (Oh, okay, I’ve downright made fun of it.) The truth is, I’ve never understood how someone without all the hours of master’s level classes (such as my husband has) can be certified to teach EVERY subject. Recently, however, I’ve discovered that I was ignorant on how this whole homeschooling thing works. Apparently there are cohorts where a student can access teachers and curriculum on subjects their parent can’t adequately teach. (For me, that would mean every subject). Still, I’m not a big fan of this option because I don’t think it offers real world experience, and I can’t see how he would transition to college or working at a real job after being home with me for years. Let’s face it–I’m obviously not a role model for working outside the home.
So there you have it. Now, my lovely blog readers: decide for me. Seriously. Tell me what to do. You have until next October. I’m holding you to it.
Meanwhile, I’ll just be in sitting here, alternately sobbing into his baby blanket and trying to invent a machine to STOP time.
p.s. My title has no relevance whatsoever to my post, other than the fact that it’s about school, and the show was about school. Sorry, I know how I normally wrap the title up into the post like a neat little present. We all have our slacker days.
p.p.s. You should know that when I talked to Thomas about all this, he very directly told me, “I’m going to Winburn. And I’ll be fine. Mom, I know how crazy kids can be, and I know how to deal with it. You don’t need to worry.” I guess I forgot to factor in the fact that he’s FORTY going on Eleven. Problem solved.