What you missed on Facebook

So I have the new Timeline profile from Facebook and while I like it, it also makes me cringe. Looking backward in time at my posts makes quite a few of them seem ridiculous.

My friend Kim posted this link on Facebook the other day, and I have to admit, I’m guilty of most of what the article points out. In case you are too lazy to click on the link and read the article, here’s a quote that sums it up: “Since our Facebook profiles are self-curated, users have a strong bias toward sharing positive milestones and avoid mentioning the more humdrum, negative parts of their lives.”

I promise my life isn’t perfect, and to prove it, I’m giving full disclosure. In the spirit of Christmas and every other Winter holiday, I’m going to give you the Facebook status updates that didn’t make my page this year. Brace yourself.

“My daughter can’t find her hair elastics because I steal them to extend the button on my jeans when I’m feeling fat.”

“My son thought the F word was Fudge. He wouldn’t stop talking about it so I finally spelled out the real F word to shut him up.”

“Threw back way too many beers for a Tuesday night, but hey, I feel great this morning! Thank goodness for those alcoholic genes!”

“Productive day at work. My friends and I spent the whole day sending out resumes. Tomorrow we’re building a rope ladder to escape.”

“Having another Open House today. Sure hope no one looks in my top drawer.”

“Sorry to all the people I unfriended because I barely know you. It was pretty awkward when we ran into each other in the grocery store and you tried to tag me, wasn’t it?”

“Back from another long ballet class. If I invest all this time with her now, she won’t hate me as much when she’s a teenager right? Because that’s my angle.”

“Having pancakes for dinner again because I’m too lazy to go to the grocery, even though I had plenty of energy to play on Pinterest all day.”

There’s more, but I’m out of time….got to go check my Facebook page and see how many of you have unfriended me now.


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6 responses to “What you missed on Facebook

  1. Linda

    I just LOVE this post! So real. That’s what most of our lives are really about. Stuff like this. So thanks for the laughs!

  2. Karen Hitchcock-callagy

    OMG—my newborn sleep deprived butt needed that laugh. So so true. Husband deployed, 1 week old, a 3 yr old, 5 yr old all by myself :). I could really post some good stuff…thanks for making me feel normal.

  3. I love the idea of these not-quite-ready-for-Facebook posts. Haven’t we all had those thoughts or similar ones?