Reset

You how sometimes you go somewhere and it doesn’t seem that strange while you’re actually there, but then later, when you’re all cozy at home, and you think about the other place, it sort of freaks you out?

What, no? It’s just me? Well, actually, John admits to feeling this way sometimes, too.  I think I’ve mentioned that before in my post about the scariest place on earth.

But I bring this up because today marks two weeks that I’ve been working from home again. And now that I’m sitting here all cozy in my home office, in my favorite sweat pants, at my desk with my Dad’s initials marking his handiwork, and with my patchwork pillow that Thomas made me for Christmas two years ago—well, it just seems strange that I ever worked at the alumni association.

Every day when I sit down to start working, I think about sitting in that other office–all dressed up so early in the morning, the furnace rattling on the other side of the wall and the spooky attic doors popping open randomly (okay, it was just the wind)–and I shiver. It all seemed so normal, but somehow sitting here now, I can’t believe it was real.

Honestly, it’s sort of like waking up from a bad dream, where things just weren’t quite right. And that’s not to say it was a bad experience. On the contrary, among the many wonderful things about working there, I can list: meeting new friends (you girls know who you are), working with an old friend again (Jeff), learning new things from an experienced writer/editor (Linda), being on campus every day, going to events, writing about my alma mater, etc. etc.

What I mean about waking up from a bad dream is that some parts of it just never felt right. Like the part where I left the house for 11 or 12 hours each day; the part where someone else took care of my kids; the part where I wasn’t in charge of my own schedule, or my own ideas. And no matter how much I liked the good parts, having me work outside the home just wasn’t right for our family.

But I have no regrets about the past year and a half. In  fact, I think it was the best possible thing I could have done with that time.

I was thinking about it this morning as I headed to a meeting with a client, who also happens to be a friend. Along with a very serious business discussion (serious in the way that only two marketing nerds can be when they talk about content and segmentation), we caught up on personal topics as well. That’s when Emily came up with the best way to describe what’s happening with me right now: Reset.

As in, I’ve hit the Reset Button. (It’s sort of like the mind eraser, but used for different purposes.) The Reset Button clears away all the bad habits I had formed during the 8 years I worked from home, and restores only the good ones.

In fact, rather than lost time, going to work for someone else has actually propelled my freelance career forward. It has cleared away any doubts I had about being successful on my own.I’ve come away with a better work ethic, new contacts, and best of all, the absolute certainty that THIS is where I am meant to be.

I had to go out and try the day job thing  again. If I had never tried it, then I would not know for sure that I am doing the right thing here. I had to have the “bad” dream in order to follow my own real dream.

And honestly, what’s not to love about 24/7 access to my own kitchen? Really. Think about that. Yep, I’ll see you in about 30 pounds.

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