Restless

“Sometimes the cure for restlessness is rest.”  –Collen Wainwright

Maybe it’s only because my heart beats a steady 150 bpm at rest, but I’ve been feeling restless lately.  At first I thought I was just bored, but doesn’t boredom involve sitting around tapping your fingers and waiting for something to happen? With 3 kids, a steady (if not overly lucrative) flow of writing, and a house that seems to scatter its contents on its own, boredom certainly doesn’t live here.   

I thought maybe it was time to go back to work. I love freelancing, and it’s the perfect job in terms of time with family, but let’s face it, I’m not working 40 hour weeks here.  With our younger children all starting school, many of my friends are starting to go back to full time work this year, and I have to admit I’m a little jealous of the money (not to mention the cleaning services) they are all gaining.  Still, I’d feel like I was abandoning all of the people at Starbucks and Target whom I’ve gotten to know on a first name basis. Kidding. But  I would feel like I was abandoning my clients and the hard work it has taken to build my freelancing career to this point.  So, unless someone offers me my dream job (hint hint), I think I’ll keep a good thing going.

Then John and I explored the possibility that it is time to move again. Many times when we feel restless, we mistakenly interpret it as the need to search Lbar on a daily basis. We even dragged our poor kids through a few open houses and then cringed when they started fighting over bedrooms in one house.  We already own a wonderful house, which we love and which suits our needs perfectly. Are we teaching our kids to be dissatisfied? To always want what we don’t have?

In general I consider myself a satisfied person. We’ve never had much and I’m the last person to run out and buy the latest “thing.”  Maybe that’s why it bothers me so much to feel this restless. I feel almost guilty.  But then, without a restless spirit, what would ever be accomplished?  And there lies the answer: Rather then looking to acquire something, I need to look to accomplish something. I need to channel my restlessness into productivity.  And I’ll get to that, I promise, right after I search Lbar one more time…

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One response to “Restless

  1. Tammy Willett

    Christina- I just love reading your blogs. You are an extremely talented and gifted writer! I hope everything works out for you-you know it will. And, please please please don’t ever move, our street would not be the same without you! Love ya!!!