My Tell Tale Heart

I’ve been wanting an iphone for a while now, but due to lack of funds, or a perceived lack, as the case may be, I still carry around a little flip phone that may have been the latest technology around the same time we all started switching from vhs to dvd.  So you can imagine my excitement when the Fed Ex man delivered a brand new blackberry to my house on Friday.  Too bad the blackberry is  not mine to keep, and oh yeah, the only I reason I get to carry this device is so it can take readings from my heart monitor and relay them back to my cardiologist 24/7.  

As much as this sucks, it is not really as bad as it sounds.  For one thing, the diagnosis of a heart rhythm disorder means I am not imagining the manic 150+ beats per minute, the dizzy spells, or the shortness of breath that have been a part of my life for the past 2 years.  Also, I get to carry around several wireless devices (and some wired right to me), so that I now look like I am either a very important professional, or a very important drug dealer. At any rate, I am definitely “hooked up.”

 To be more technical:  Heart Rhythm Disorder means my heart is beating too fast and irregular much of the time even if I am not doing anything (for example it is happening in my sleep). And because it is already so high, I feel even worse after I exercise or drink caffeine or have 5 shots of bourbon–ha! If left untreated, my heart would eventually wear itself out. 

To determine which type of rhythm disorder it is, and which type of medication to use, I get to carry around this device and wear a heart monitor for 21 days (in other words, eternity).  Isn’t technology cool? I can take it off to shower and go to the pool–which as you all know, was my main concern!  

The up side is, I’m not crazy or reliving Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Tale Tell Heart”, and at the end of my 21 days I’m going to switch out this wireless device for an iphone that I can actually use to connect with someone other than my cardiologist. I think this pretty much turned out in my favor!

Comments Off on My Tell Tale Heart

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments are closed.